Time, sex and money

By Deacon John Brasley / Catholic Courier    |    09.23.2010


In a Creighton University study by the Center for Marriage and Family, newly married couples were asked to rate 42 stressors that are typically problematic. Triggering the most stress in the first few years of marriage were issues of time, sex and money.

The top-rated problem was time: balancing job and family.

When Belinda and I were first married, I was strongly focused on my career. I was working longer hours and spending less time with our family.

The second-highest rated issue was sex: the frequency of sexual relations and unsatisfying sexual relations.

Time passed. I was focused on getting ahead in my career. Belinda was focused on the needs of our children and the running of our household. As our careers exhausted more of our time and energy, our love-making became a lower priority -- and we grew less satisfied with our sex life.

The next highly rated problems involve money: third -- debt brought into the marriage; fourth -- the husband’s employment; and fifth -- the couple’s financial situation.

Belinda and I started our married life together with student loans and other debts. As I focused my attention on establishing myself in my career, our financial situation became the source of several disagreements.

Time, sex and money can add undue stress to any marriage.

The miracle of the wedding feast at Cana can offer us a solution. Just as Jesus transformed ordinary water into extraordinary wine, he can transform an ordinary relationship into a truly extraordinary marriage.

When Belinda and I were "running out of wine" in our marriage, we asked Christ to help us refocus our attention back onto each other and to restore our marriage as our number one priority. As we made this shift, we dispelled the stress caused by issues of time, sex and money, and rediscovered the joy in our relationship.

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