I thought a leader was someone that yelled like a drill sergeant and threatened punishments. When I met Ed, he showed me that a good leader could be soft spoken, friendly and encouraging.
Ed led by example. Ed would never ask anyone to do anything he was not willing to do himself. Before he offered a suggestion, he told you things you did well.
When we were married, I was blessed to serve as a co-leader with Ed in the organizations where we volunteered. Ed and I also tried our best to be gentle leaders in our individual jobs. We raised our sons this way.
In college, our older son was an instructor in a challenge course. A company executive brought his employees there to do team-building exercises. The executive planned to give a speech and leave. Our son convinced him that the training would be most effective if he stayed and did the challenges with them. He stayed and was glad he did because his employees left not as a group but as a team that respected him even more.
Our younger son was the captain of his high-school rowing team. The coach came over and asked our son to get the boats ready. Our son went over to the boys. He smiled and calmly said, “It’s time.” The boys stopped what they were doing and headed for the boats. Our son stayed for a few minutes and then followed. One of the moms said to us, “You son is an amazing leader. He doesn’t yell or threaten. He smiles and then goes with his team and works with them. You must be so proud.” We were.
I’m happy that our adult sons continue to be gentle and effective leaders. I want to be like them.
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Leonor “Leo” and Ed Rivera were members of the local Worldwide Marriage Encounter community for 32 of their 34 years of marriage until Ed unexpectedly died of a genetic heart defect on Aug. 1, 2020.
The next 2026 Worldwide Marriage Encounter Weekend is Nov. 20-22 at Notre Dame Retreat House in Canandaigua.
Tags: Catholic Marriage
